this, well, this isn't me. it's marissa :\ but i feel completely the same.
lately, ive been thinking about the past. mainly form 1. how everything use to be so simple and easy, where everyone were just themselves. despite all the stupid things we did. i admit that form 1 wasn't the best year of my life, but i definitely miss the people then. who they use to be.
but i guess everyone remained the same for a while, till now. i've been thinking, everything seems a hell lot messed up compared to before. you can't seem to believe people anymore. everyone just seems to be a big lie. no matter what they say, no matter what they do, no matter how they treat you.
not to mention, trust seems to be a big problem for everyone now, including me. but sometimes, it's not our faults. it's just that when you find out that the specific person is untrustable, you get so hurt, that you don't ever feel like facing him or her again. but you can't. why? because they don't know that you know. so what do you do? you land up stop sharing secrets with them, whether it's obvious or not.
and then, there's people with relationship problems. or relationships that give other people problems. i know it doesn't sound possible at all. not the slightest bit. but it is. as for relationship problems, for the ones i know, i'm gonna have to put them in the trust problem section. seriously, i don't mean to be mean but, don't date them if you don't trust them. and as for those who are getting effected by others relationship, tolerate it. that's the best solution i've come up with to help myself. but if you're getting effected by other people relationship problem, ignore them all. because that's what i'm doing.
i realize that people don't seem to be who they are anymore. just plain ol' different. maybe you might have not noticed their changes till others tell you, most probably because you don't talk to them much. but it kinda sucks to know that people are changing, and hurting their close friends.
sometimes, you don't even realize who that person really is, till someone has to tell you. it sucks to know how different they actually really are, when you thought that you were so close to them. it kinda just completely changes your view of them. and you just have the major urge to never ever talk to them again. but then again, it's not possible, now is it?
and then there are times when you're just completely alone. people say that sometimes its good to be alone. and yeah, i agree. but not in this situation, where you're completely different from the rest. it's hard to do anything when you're different from the rest. you tend to do everything on your own, even the smallest things. and not just with people whom are different, but with those who seem to have found someone else who's a hell lot better company than you are. i'm not saying that it's their faults, and that i should be the only one that they should care about, it's just that it kinda hurts that you're different. in this case, there's absolutely nothing you can do, but just face the fact that it's happening.
but not when they leave you out in something, without asking you about it. gotta tell you, it hurts. but if you were to think about seriously, you wouldn't know whose fault it is. it could be neither, yet it could be both. the worse part is, you can't tell them what you truly think.
thank you thank you THANK YOUUU for being such a good friend, comforting me whenever i'm down, listening to my problems no matter how complicating they may seem and trying to understand what i'm saying. because i know that most of the time i'm just blabbering some kinda crap. i know i do. :(. so i'm truly grateful that you've sacrificed so much time for me. not only that, but you bear with my super-duper annoying-ness etc.
the one on the left, in the awesome candy cane outfit ♥ happy belated sweet 16th! i love you, boifran!
schools been so hectic! :( i miss being in the same class as my peoples. class without them seems so... lifeless. but of course, there's always rittie there with me :) and and, i've got two tuitions with marissa. and let me tell you this much, tuition with her is fun :D [especially when you get free oranges from teacher wrapped up in red mini bags that smell like it just fell into a toxic waste] :)
one week of school has passed, and honestly, it felt like a month.
now, i wouldn't say school was that bad. but i wouldn't say it was that good, either. i definitely miss andrea and hannah. and... form3? and, i'm a pathetic blogger. i really do give up :( buuuuuut for the sake of my not-so-awesome-yet-so-very-awesome boifran [click:)] , i won't..?
being in a different class as hannah and andrea, it's weird. definitely. one hundred percent. especially after three years of good times in class procrastinating, joking around and... eating. really upset that from seeing you guys the whole entire morning and afternoon, i only see you less than an hour now. i didn't even realize it till andrea told me, okay, and now i miss you guys even more >l and i don't really have much time to even talk to you guys anymore. not even when i'm at home. :\
long story short, i just really really REALLLYYY miss being in the same class as... everyone l:
"Today, I went to Pavilion & that place is BIG. Walked around for 4 hours & 30 minutes & all I got was a freaking bun. I didn't even go further than the second floor. :| Apart from Parkson." -marissaBOO.
oh man. i just read that on her blog and i cracked up. that's so... aegyo, marissa ;)
i am not a crapper. i have no skill, yo. the only person who craps out adorable AEGYO stuff would be,
my boifan :)
and just one question. do i fake that many smiles? :\
this year has been rather incredible. this year, i made two new true friends.
who would ever think that after knowing her for two years, i'd get so close to her on the third? she's been such an awesome friend to me. she's not only helped me during hard times, but inspired me to do so much, and taught me to believe. i am so blessed to know you, marissa. i love you, BOIFRAN ♥
andrea, too, has been there for me through so many hard times. honestly, without her, life would be still so dull. she's definitely one of the things that lightened up my life so much. thanks to her, i not only see life differently, in a good way, i've learnt what a true friend really is. despite the fact that we're really quite different, we've managed to bond throughout the year. and i'm so happy that we did. i am truly blessed to know you. i love you ♥
i wouldn't say that there aren't other things and other people that made this year awesome. ofcourse there was andrew, and there was pmr which mind you, made andrea and i bond more than ever. overall, this has been a good year. speaking of andrew, he's been such an awesome friend. like an older brother to me, really. he's helped me so much. so really, thank you :')
can you imagine, this was this year? it felt like just yesterday :\