lately, ive been thinking about the past. mainly form 1. how everything use to be so simple and easy, where everyone were just themselves. despite all the stupid things we did. i admit that form 1 wasn't the best year of my life, but i definitely miss the people then. who they use to be.
but i guess everyone remained the same for a while, till now. i've been thinking, everything seems a hell lot messed up compared to before. you can't seem to believe people anymore. everyone just seems to be a big lie. no matter what they say, no matter what they do, no matter how they treat you.
not to mention, trust seems to be a big problem for everyone now, including me. but sometimes, it's not our faults. it's just that when you find out that the specific person is untrustable, you get so hurt, that you don't ever feel like facing him or her again. but you can't. why? because they don't know that you know. so what do you do? you land up stop sharing secrets with them, whether it's obvious or not.
and then, there's people with relationship problems. or relationships that give other people problems. i know it doesn't sound possible at all. not the slightest bit. but it is. as for relationship problems, for the ones i know, i'm gonna have to put them in the trust problem section. seriously, i don't mean to be mean but, don't date them if you don't trust them. and as for those who are getting effected by others relationship, tolerate it. that's the best solution i've come up with to help myself. but if you're getting effected by other people relationship problem, ignore them all. because that's what i'm doing.
i realize that people don't seem to be who they are anymore. just plain ol' different. maybe you might have not noticed their changes till others tell you, most probably because you don't talk to them much. but it kinda sucks to know that people are changing, and hurting their close friends.
sometimes, you don't even realize who that person really is, till someone has to tell you. it sucks to know how different they actually really are, when you thought that you were so close to them. it kinda just completely changes your view of them. and you just have the major urge to never ever talk to them again. but then again, it's not possible, now is it?
and then there are times when you're just completely alone. people say that sometimes its good to be alone. and yeah, i agree. but not in this situation, where you're completely different from the rest. it's hard to do anything when you're different from the rest. you tend to do everything on your own, even the smallest things. and not just with people whom are different, but with those who seem to have found someone else who's a hell lot better company than you are. i'm not saying that it's their faults, and that i should be the only one that they should care about, it's just that it kinda hurts that you're different. in this case, there's absolutely nothing you can do, but just face the fact that it's happening.
but not when they leave you out in something, without asking you about it. gotta tell you, it hurts. but if you were to think about seriously, you wouldn't know whose fault it is. it could be neither, yet it could be both. the worse part is, you can't tell them what you truly think.
but that's just reality.
